I have refrained from writing anything in my own words for the duration of the Kavanaugh debacle…but at this point, I cannot hold back. Today, our federal government told millions of survivors that their pain did not matter– that whether or not Kavanaugh committed these atrocities is irrelevant, that actions from that many years ago (unreported or not) should not affect his career. Sexual assault allegations aside, today we watched them place someone on the highest court in our land, when he was not even able to keep his cool while under interrogation. Dr Ford is a hero, regardless of what anyone says– it may have taken her over two decades to speak her truth; but she stood before the entire nation and spoke it. Those shouting that she would have reported it years ago if it were legitimate do not understand the extent of that process, and the impact that it can have on a victim– much less how many victims DO NOT come forward, as society is naturally inclined to blame them. When I was six, it was my best friend’s older sister. When I was nine, it was a friend of mine who made me swear to never tell– to this day I have not. When I was thirteen, I held a crying classmate in the locker room as she flashed back to an assault from earlier that year. And when I was 18, it happened to me. I reported. I did what you all are tearing this woman down for not doing. I did what was"right" in your eyes AND LET ME TELL YOU: I was forced to repeat what had happened to me. Over, and over again. With no mercy. Looking for inconsistencies, less than 72 hours after my attack. I went to the hospital, I followed procedure. TWO YEARS passed before they even tested the evidence collected from me for DNA. I was treated as criminal at times– with a prosecutor going as far as asking me if I was willing to pass a polygraph. They asked to see my text messages and facebook interactions with my rapist both prior to and after my assault. I was investigated, vetted, and interrogated at the most fragile point in my life Even with a confession on tape, I was still subjected by my university to the same victim blaming questions I have seen all over social media for weeks now. Nearly every woman I know has a story like mine. Do not pretend to understand someone else’s reality if you have never lived it– you do not understand what this decision speaks to those of us who have lived her reality. To those of you who– just like me– are broken over this, now is not the time to despair. I refuse to let this break me, and you should do the same. Be FURIOUS: Your elected officials failed to consider you, your story, and the stories of millions of other men and women when they voted “yes” today; we deserved better. I am so sorry. Mobilize, band together, help each other through this heart wrenching time, and vote them OUT. You have the power to vote in representatives who prioritize you– let this be your rally call. |